


In Dreams

by Wallwalker



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Community: ff_exchange, Drama, Dreams, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-21
Updated: 2010-01-21
Packaged: 2017-10-06 12:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wallwalker/pseuds/Wallwalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rinoa wasn't gone when Ultimecia first possessed her. She was just dreaming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Dreams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crankyoldman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crankyoldman/gifts).



> Written for crankyoldman/venefica_aura for Final Fantasy Exchange, Round 1. Beta-read by Lassarina.

The first thing Rinoa remembered was the light. Bright light, blinding light, dazzling and burning her mind, leaving her helpless - she could feel her body drifting in the air, but she couldn't see what she was doing, where she was going. There was nothing there; the light was so bright that it might as well have been darkness, illuminating nothing but itself.

The second thing was the noise - the sounds of hundreds upon hundreds chanting in her head. She couldn't understand then, and she still can't make sense of it now - can't make sense of the words that they were saying, or why they were saying them.

She wanted to scream and run away, but she couldn't do either one. She felt like she was falling, locked in her own prison. Blinded by light and deafened by sound - she _hated_ it, all of it, wanted it to stop and just be quiet, please please _please_ -

_Hmph. Foolish little vessel._

It was a woman's voice, and Rinoa tried to call out to her and ask her what was happening - but then she felt as if something had exploded behind her eyes, and she didn't know what happened to her after that.

\---

When she began to wake, she was floating in an ocean of darkness and silence. All she could feel was relief flooding through every part of her, drowning out the fear she knew she should still be feeling.

She strained to remember why she was there or what had happened to her, but the memories wouldn't come. She remembered standing next to Squall and Quistis as they faced Seifer, remembered how _hard_ it had been to pull the trigger with her weapon pointed at his head. She remembered the Sorceress, then, floating down from above to attack them, and she remembered watching as Squall's last attack had finally brought her to her knees, and then....

...what had happened next? She tried and tried, but she couldn't remember. She just remembered the light and the noise, and felt sick....

"Rinoa."

She heard the woman's voice even in the darkness, and tried to block the sound of it from her ears. _No,_ she thought. _No more noise. No more._

"Wake up, Rinoa," the voice said again. She felt a cool hand against her forehead. "It's time."

She stirred, then quickly sat up. "Mother?" she asked, sudden shock and fear choking her all at once. Mother was supposed to be dead, years dead....

"Hush." She felt a long finger against her lips.

Rinoa ignored it. "Mother... it's you, isn't it? Isn't it?" She strained to see through the darkness, but it pressed in against her, choking her. Her eyes would not open. "Where are you?"

"I am sorry," said the woman. "I am not your mother. But you must wake up now. Open your eyes...."

The darkness shifted, changed behind her eyelids. A sudden glimmer of brightness lanced into her vision, a cacophony of color and light, and she squeezed the eye shut that she hadn't even realized was open. "I can't," she wailed. "Who are you? Why are you doing this to me?"

"I will explain once we are gone from this place. I promise." She felt another hand take hold of hers. "This dark place is no refuge, Rinoa. Believe me in this. The one who attacked you keeps you here, so that she can bend you to her will. You must escape her, or she will destroy your mind."

"Destroy my...." Rinoa shook her head. "That's impossible!"

"Rinoa. Please. I promise that I will keep you safe, but you must trust me." No, the voice wasn't her mother's - she knew that then, knew it very well - but it was most definitely a mother's voice, sweet and calm but with an edge that demanded respect. "You do not want to stay here for the rest of your life, do you?"

"No," Rinoa slowly admitted. "But... I can't stay even for a little while?"

"I'm afraid not." The motherly voice did not relent. "Now open your eyes."

"All right," she said, head whirling - but finally she opened them, and screamed as the light came back. God, so bright, so horrible - and then the voices started again, a thousand Sorceresses singing their horrible song in her head, over and over and over again -

"Concentrate," said the voice. "Stay calm. This will pass."

Rinoa wanted to scream at her. How could she possibly be calm, she wanted to shout, when she couldn't see anything but light and she had _witches_ singing in her head? But she did not close her eyes again. She felt something tugging at her hand, wanting her to follow, and so she did - anything to escape from this, she thought. Anything at all.

She stumbled through the light, catching glimpses of things here and there that she didn't understand - women in long, elaborate dresses chanting and dancing, their flesh shifting as they moved into bestial forms. There were old men with craggy faces and stern expressions standing before soldiers, whose swords suddenly flashed to take their heads. There were dogs with silky fur and wagging tails who chased rabbits through meadows, until the dogs suddenly changed into horrible half-lizard beasts and the rabbits became people who screamed and cried for mercy as the monsters attacked.

She took one more stumbling step, and finally, finally, the light faded, leaving her dazzled. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head fiercely, trying hard to regain something like equilibrium. She felt horrible, like she'd been sent through the most brutal carnival ride ever, the kind that just wouldn't stop no matter how hard she begged.

She blinked again, waited for what felt like forever as her eyes adjusted to the comparative dimness of the sunlight. She could hear something strange - the sound of waves, maybe? It had been a long time since she'd heard the ocean, but it did sound familiar...

"Come," the motherly voice said beside her, and led her along. She still did not look up at her; something in her was afraid to look, or else the woman might disappear, and she would lose her only friend in this strange world.

As her eyes finally became acclimated to the light, she saw the ocean, waves crashing along a sandy beach. There was a little house near the beach, a pretty place - she felt as if she'd seen it somewhere before, too, but could not remember where. When she tried to focus on it, details shifted - at first she was ready to swear that it was a pale blue, but then it seemed to blur and lighten to white, then darken to green, then -

"Rinoa," the woman said. "Look away."

"Um... okay," she said, and looked back down at the sand, which was reassuringly solid. "But.. why is it changing?"

"Because it is a part of someone else's dream."

"Huh?" She felt like an idiot, saying things like that, but she couldn't help it. It didn't make any sense at all. "Why would I be seeing something like that?"

"You are newly awakened. Your own dreams are chaotic and frightening to you, and so I brought you into mine." She squeezed Rinoa's hand gently. "You will understand in a moment."

They arrived at the beach, where a couple of small white chairs and a plastic table waited for them. There were cups on the table, and what seemed to be a pitcher of something; Rinoa reached out as they came close enough, felt cool drops of water. "Um..." she said, not sure how to ask.

"Would you be so kind as to pour a glass of lemonade for each of us, Rinoa?" the mother-voice said gently.

"Okay," she said, still confused - but she could not deny that she was thirsty, and that she very much liked the idea of lemonade. She picked up the pitcher and poured a generous cupful of pink lemonade into each cup, hesitating only a moment to see if it was really lemonade that would come out of the pitcher.

"Thank you. Would you hand one of the glasses to me?"

"All right," she said, but she felt a quick thrill of something like fear; she would have to look at the woman beside her to do that, wouldn't she? It would be very rude if she didn't, and -

"Don't be afraid," the mother-voice said smoothly. "I will not leave you."

"Please don't," Rinoa said, her voice quavering. "If I'm alone here, I'll probably... I don't know..."

"You'll probably disappear," the voice said gently. "I will not allow that to happen. I promise."

Rinoa nodded, comforted by the voice but still afraid. But she had little choice, and so she slowly turned around, cup of lemonade in her hand.

At first she did not recognize the woman, with her long black hair and her simple dress and her kind eyes. She reminded Rinoa of her own mother, or at least of her happy memories of her mother, before the tears and the anger had begun to permeate every part of their family, everything that she had ever experienced. But then she blinked again -

\- the image shifted -

\- the woman had changed for a moment, and Rinoa screamed. She felt the cup of lemonade slip, felt it drop out of nerveless fingers as she saw the woman who had nearly offered her as a sacrifice at the highest place in Deling City, had left her to feed a pair of monsters with rancid breath and horrible sharp claws -

\- then the terrible image faded, and the woman was sitting in her plain dress and holding the cup of lemonade as if nothing had happened at all.

Rinoa took a step back. "You're... you're... you're Sorceress Edea," she babbled, hating the way the words sounded on her tongue - _Sorceress Edea, witch, murderer, monster - _

Edea shook her head. "No longer, Rinoa. You must not fear me." She took a sip of her lemonade. "Come, sit, and we will talk. I will not harm you."

"I... I..." But Rinoa looked around, saw the clear blue sky and the crashing waves, and the resistance slipped out of her. She collapsed bonelessly into the chair, picked up the other glass of lemonade with shaking hands and tried to hold onto it. "I... don't know what's happening to me...."

"Nor did I know, when the power took hold of me." Edea took another drink. "I am trying to help you understand."

"Power?" Rinoa repeated dumbly. "What..."

Then she remembered something.

Remembered Edea - this same woman - crumpling on the ground in front of her, injured. Remembered pitying her, wanting to reach out for her and help her. Remembered taking a step - and then something horrible had pushed into her mind like a gale, blowing away the shadows and bringing the _light_, making her lose her control....

She opened both of her hands and put them palm-down on the table, and stared at them. They were just the same as they had been before, except that they seemed to glow even in the sunlight. There was something there, something still roaring in her head. "What is it?" she almost whispered.

"My power," Edea said sadly. "I am truly sorry, Rinoa. I had meant to carry it until my dying day - indeed, my waking self does not even know that she no longer carries it. But in dreams, there are many things that are more clear to me."

"Your... what?" Rinoa said. "But that would make... wouldn't that make _me..._"

_Sorceress Rinoa, witch, monster, murderer -_

Her hands started to shake. She couldn't stop them, just closed her eyes and rested her head on the table. "Why?" she whispered. "Why?"

Edea didn't speak at first, but Rinoa felt her stroking her hair very gently, the way that her mother had before. She wanted to hate Edea for this - how could she have _done_ this to her? - but she couldn't seem to do it, not when she was being so kind. So she just stayed there, felt the tears in her eyes.

"Dreams are always difficult, child," she said. "They are the truest form of penance, and without a Knight to steady them, they can be unbearable. I wish that I could tell you everything, but time grows short. She is moving."

"She?" Rinoa asked. She sat up, blinked away the tears as best she could.

"Yes. The Sorceress who sent her will through time, who masterminded my rise to power. The one who chose you as Successor when I was no longer useful to her." She pointed at the sky. "Look."

Rinoa stared up at the sky. At first there was nothing, but then there was the briefest flash of an image - a brief flash that she saw perfectly. There was a woman there, decorated with facepaint and feathers, with a cold, sad face.

"Her name is Ultimecia. She is the one who is controlling you. As we speak, she sleeps and waits for the moment to strike," Edea continued. "Your friends are trying to help you, but they cannot break her hold, not until the moment comes."

"What should I do?" Rinoa asked. "I can fight her, right?"

But Edea shook her head. "Listen to me," she said, urgently. "The dream is about to end, and I must tell you -"

The sky darkened. At first Rinoa thought that a cloud had covered the sun, but when she looked up she saw with horror that the sky had gone completely black. The sea had frozen, as if it had all turned to ice. Rinoa jumped away from the table as it started to fade as well.

"- she will try to destroy you," Edea was saying. Her voice was fading fast. "You must trust in your friends. You must take control of your own power and use it against her. But most of all, when your Knight is revealed to you, you must be willing to _trust_ \- "

A wind blew along the beach, and everything went black.

She was falling.

\---

_"Foolish little girl. Those who loved you will not kome for you."_

_Light. Motion. A thousand different things, and she couldn't control any of them._

_Powerlessness. Fear._

_"Now my true Successor will fall..._"

_She tried to scream, but she couldn't. The air smelled strange as she breathed, canned and recycled. She felt something wrapped around her, constricting her._

_"Die in darkness, little fool. There is no Knight to save you. Not here."_

_She opens her eyes._

\---

Rinoa drifted among the stars.

They're beautiful, she thought absently. She always loved looking at the stars... she would have stayed there forever, if only she could think. But she can't breathe; the air is growing stale and sour in her lungs. She can barely move, bound by the strange suit - she's heard of spacesuits before, but she's never imagined being inside of one.

"Edea?" she tried to say. "I'm sorry. Please, come back..." But no one answered her. She was alone. Why was she alone? She kept trying to remember someone else, but... who? Why couldn't she remember?

_I'm... going to die, aren't I?_

She couldn't cry. She was too tired to cry. She just closed her eyes instead.

_I'm a Sorceress now... maybe I deserve to die...._

_"Rinoa!"_

Her eyes snapped open. How could she have forgotten? "Squall," she mouthed.

_"Hold on! I'm coming, Rinoa! I'll save you, I promise!"_

And with that she found the strength to smile. She moved her hand along her suit, looking for something - something that might help her - and felt a click as she touched a button, then felt fresh air fill her suit.

She didn't know what was going to happen. But if Squall said he was going to save her... she trusted him.

She'd be all right for a little while longer.


End file.
